I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
