she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
