The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
