i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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