You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
