Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
