I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
