i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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