i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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