But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
