I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
