I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
