I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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