I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
