dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
