All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
