so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
