the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
