If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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