i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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