Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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