walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So many bounce houses so little time
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
