you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize