As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize