TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
