You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
