if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
