Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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