Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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