Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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