This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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