Tell her she can't have a vagina
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
