fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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