Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
