he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
