the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
