Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize