would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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