And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
