That's intense
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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