How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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