Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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