I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
