that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
