At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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