i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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