its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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