All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you win again, gameday.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize