boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think weed is turning my hair brown
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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