He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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