And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
