Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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