who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
