i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
