yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
