I am puke
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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