he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
