i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
