therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I looked at my own cervix.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
