So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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