Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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