so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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