but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
